Reflections
by Sarah Elric
Summary: In the midst of the present battle, all Rangiku can think about is her and Gin's past. He left; he fights; things have changed between the two; and all she can hope for is that this faint connection to him will bring him back. Spoiler-ish, Au-ish. RanGin


**So I haven't uploaded anything in like...awhile...or updated any stories in like...awhile...Ahahaha well I have been on here however enjoying everyone else's work though! So I thought I would break my funk with a fresh RanGin one-shot...eh...I kind of hate it now but I think I might revisit it later on...now I just want to see what the world thinks of my creation! I do not own any of these characters...except Kin...but I'm will to share custody of him...if you ask nicely! READ AND ENJOY!**

When Rangiku wakes up, she thinks that perhaps the last years have all been a fantastic dream. She sees Gin fighting, perhaps some other kid who thinks he's a punk; his face lacking that sly grin, showing the seriousness of the situation. The kid must have done something to irk Gin this way, perhaps he made fun of his silver hair or said something about her. Gin always gets riled up when someone makes mention of her. "No one talks about _my_ Ran-chan."

_Gin could be found furiously beating a much older, taller boy to the ground. His face covered in blood from the boy. His hands were raw from punches, but nothing compared to the injuries on the now dead boy. He stood over his kill and wiped his long silver bangs from his face, blood staining the pale strands. His face lacked the usual grin, replaced by a stern line. "No one talks about _my_ Ran-chan…" he said firmly. Silence followed, there won't be talk from the boy anymore. _

_As Gin entered the small cabin that he shared with Rangiku, he found her sitting up waiting for him. She cried as she took in his beaten body, he washed most of the blood so as not to worry her but he can't hide the evidence of his fight. "You were fighting again weren't you Gin?" she said as tears streamed down her pretty rounded cheeks. "Why do you always have to fight Gin?" She looked up at him, pale blue eyes pleading for answer. "Is that why you always leave without telling me where you go?"_

_He sighed, her hands carefully wrapping his bruised, bloodied fists, and replied, "No one talks about _my_ Ran-chan…" He stilled her hand, feeling the warm, smooth skin against his fingertips. "I leave because…I have to go to protect you…" The conversation was never brought up again but Rangiku often pondered if Gin is protecting her from the world or himself._

She closes her eyes and asks if Momo is ok. Izuru replies she is healing nearby. Rangiku nods and looks over to where Ichigo and Gin are fighting. The younger boy looks angry, his brown eyes are battle hardened. Shame that he who is so young has to experience this kind of life, Ichigo will never be the same after this. Gin knows this life, as does she, even after they left the hard street life of Rukongai for Soul Society. Was there ever a time when there was no fighting?

_Rangiku was busily trying to adjust her Academy uniform as she ran to class. She was so late, and she was so sure her instructor was going to be angry, and there was sure to be some sort of punishment. But then she found herself on the ground after running head on into a solid chest. She looked up to give the person a good talking to as she heard the person chuckling at her but stopped when she saw who it was. "Gin!"_

_Gin smiled, "Ran-chan, are you late for class again?" He extended a long fingered pale hand to help her up._

"_It's not my fault Gin," Rangiku cried as she happily took the offered hand. She stood there smoothing down the red and white fabric of her uniform, trying to look at distinguished as Gin did in his own blue and white uniform._

_He continued to smile as he wrapped a long arm over her narrow shoulders, "Of course it's not your fault Ran-chan…but since you're so late how about you and I skip class together…"_

"_But Gin! You're going to be graduating soon! Won't you get in trouble?" Rangiku asked as she followed the taller boy down the hall._

"_Who cares?" he answered as he led the way. "Graduating just means more fighting…" His face fell a little as they made their way out into the daylight. "I'm going to miss these kinds of days where it just you and me…"_

"_There won't always be fighting…"_

"_For me there will be…"_

Pain makes her close her eyes. The pain in her abdomen, the pain in her heart, it's all too much to take. Rangiku wishes she could be stronger than this, as she feels tears building up in her eyes. Her hands ache to reach out to someone who is so far from her. All she can do is lay there in pain and aching, as a tears fall from her bright eyes. When did everything change?

_She sighed heavily as she tried to work on the paperwork her captain had left. Her eyes were sore, her fingers ached, her mind numbed. She was about to fall down into the desk when slim pale arms wrapped around her neck. She looked up with a wide smile. "Gin…"_

_He smiled happily down at her. "Rangiku…" he murmured as he took a seat next to her. "Busy?"_

_Rangiku looked down at her half completed work and grinned, "Not for you…" He stood up and extended his hand which she took. "Where are we going?"_

"_You'll see! It's a surprise!" Gin laughed as he pulled her down the hallways and out into the courtyard. He turned and lifted her easily into his arms, making her laugh in surprise. "Hold on tight!" _

_They shunpo-ed out of the Seireitei and into the Rukongai. She looked up at him in confusion, but his face was set excitedly as he continued on. Soon they had moved through half of the Rukongai, when he stopped at a small cabin. Gin set her down and moved to open the door. Rangiku stood there amazed as he watched her. "Well aren't you going to go inside?"_

_Rangiku nodded and entered. It was just as small on the inside as it was on the outside. She now stood in the single roomed house and took in her surroundings. A small pit in the center held a warm fire for cooking, heat, and light. A few windows were covered with thin curtains, allowing moon light to spill into the room. A futon lay on the floor. A bookcase that held books and trinkets sat against the wall._

"_Do you remember?" Gin asked happily as he moved about the room. He crouched next to the pit. "I would come in with wood for a fire in the morning. You always wanted to help light it but the one time I let you, you burnt yourself. I didn't let you after that, but you tended it during the day when I went out. You took care of the house putting up the futon, cleaning._

_I would come home and you already had food cooking for me. We would eat here near the fire because it was always cold at night. I would read with you here by the light and then when it was for bed you and I would take out the futon and go to bed together. We would lay here and huddle together for warmth." Gin looked up at her and patted the spot next to him on the floor._

_Rangiku took her seat and leaned against him as she stared into the flames. "I remember…" she whispered softly. It felt like it did back then. He had pulled a book out and was reading softly to her by the light of the flames. He closed the book with a snap and pulled her over to the futon. "Why are we here Gin?"_

_Gin opened his eyes slightly, revealing dark blue eyes. "I wanted to go back to when it was just you and me…"_

_It's not the same as it was back then. His voice was much deeper as he spoke to her softly in the dark. Their clothes are different as she pushed off his captain's haori and he pulled her lieutenant's badge from her waist. Their bodies have changed. His body was tall, frame lean, shoulders and chest broad. Her form plump, chest well endowed, hips wide. Her hair was much longer as he ran his pale fingers through the thick locks. _

_Their first kiss was like water to a one dying of thirst. Years of wanting, of holding hands and casual embraces, of longing looks, all broke down in that first contact. His hands held her face while hers rested on his chest. They broke away to stare at one another. For once his eyes are wide and open, he smiled as he pulled her in for another kiss. As she tilted her head, he ran his tongue across her lips and entrance is granted. Her arms are wrapped around his neck while his rest on her back pulling her closer. They lay there content with kisses, breaking only for air._

_They have changed. Gin hovered over her, his pale bare skin contrasted so wonderfully with her sun kissed skin. Rangiku smiled as she looped her arms around his neck. It's not like when they were younger. He gripped her hips with cool fingers while her warm digits hold onto his shoulders. He tossed his silver head back, dark eyes opened wide, her golden hair laid about her like a halo, pale eyes watching him. Their together for the night, the connection is deeper but the comfort still the same. It's not the same; things have changed; but their connection still remains. _

She thinks that this can't be Gin, not the Gin she knew no, _knows_; he isn't gone, not yet. The man that is fighting Ichigo is a stranger to her. Rangiku closes her eyes and tries to breathe; it's hard when every fiber of her being just wants to die. But she can't, and she won't because she has to live. She opens her eyes and looks at the fight. He has to live too because she has to find out who he is again; she has to find him, the Gin she knows.

_The aftermath of the intruders' invasion on the Seireitei was felt by all. Nothing is the same. Rangiku woke up each day feeling as though there was something missing. She would do her paperwork. She would go out shopping. She would hang out with her buddies and drink. She wouldn't however go home to a warm bed with Gin. She wouldn't steal kisses before and after meetings with Gin. She wouldn't ditch paperwork to take walks with Gin. She wouldn't do _anything_ "with Gin" anymore._

_A month passed, then another, another, soon it has been four months since everything changed. She looked out the window of Orihime's apartment watching the freezing rain fall. Orihime was gone, thought to have joined forces with the Arrancars. Rangiku knew her though, that the sweet girl who was in love with a stern boy, who let two shinigami live with her, would never go to Hueco Mundo without a reason. 'A selfless reason at that…' Ichigo and the others had left hours ago, bitter with Yamamoto's answer. The shinigami were asked to return to Soul Society to prepare for the battle. That was the last thing Rangiku wanted to do but orders were orders. _

_She was spending her last night here in the world of the living before heading back in the morning. Hitsugaya was asleep, but she couldn't. She waited for Unohana to contact her. She had been feeling sick lately and more tired, so she had gone in to the 4__th__ Division for Unohana to run some diagnostics. The 4__th__ Division captain had left her a message on her phone to call immediately and now she waited for her to return her own unanswered phone call. _

_Her phone rang and she sighed as she noticed the number belonging to Unohana. "I was wondering when you were going to call again…" Rangiku laughed as she leaned back into the armchair. "I started to worry…"_

_"Ah, sorry Matsumoto-san…I did not mean to worry you…" Unohana said softly as she heard the healer shift some papers around. "Things have been quite hectic lately have they not?"_

_"Yeah…" Rangiku said as she continued to stare out the window. "Unohana-san, should I be worried?"_

_There was a pause on the phone as Unohana stopped shifting papers, then she heavily before answering, "That will depend on you Matsumoto-san…"_

_Rangiku pursed her lips, "Please Unohana-san tell me…"_

_"You are pregnant Matsumoto-san…"_

_Rangiku continued to stare out the window with a blank expression. "What…"_

_"You are with _child_," Unohana said gently as she could._

_"I'm sorry Unohana-san…I think you must be wrong…I can't, _I can't_ be-be…" her voice trailed off as she began to sob._

_"Matsumoto-san!" Unohana said. "_Rangiku-san!_"_

_Rangiku breathed deeply before answering, "Unohana-san?"_

_"You must be strong…not only for you…but for your _child_…" Unohana said, her motherly tone soothing her. "Rangiku-san you can do this…"_

_Rangiku wiped away the tears falling from her eyes. "How far along am I?"_

_"Four months…" Unohana replied. "Can I ask something Rangiku-san?"_

_"Yes Unohana-san…"_

_"It is _his_ is it not?"_

_Rangiku sat there in silence, a hand resting on the cool window pane. "Who else could it be?" Unohana continued to converse with Rangiku; It was decided that as soon as she returned to Soul Society that she should head to the 4__th__ Division to discuss the pregnancy further. As she hung up the phone with Unohana, Rangiku couldn't help but wonder where Gin was at this moment because she knew she couldn't do this without him._

She hasn't told anyone about the pregnancy. Only Unohana knows about Rangiku's dirty little secret. "I don't think now is the time…" Rangiku had said to Unohana one day during her checkup. Unohana respected her wish and said nothing. She didn't want to tell anyone, not in shame or fear, but she felt that Gin deserved to know before anyone else. Now as she lay on the ground her abdomen almost destroyed, she can't help but to ask Izuru if her child is alright, but now is not the time for that.

When she found out that Unohana and some of the other captains were planning to head to Hueco Mundo to help in the rescue of Orihime. She immediately offered her assistance. Unohana had pulled her aside and reminded her of her condition. "I do not think now is the time…" She wanted to agree but Orihime was her friend; she wanted to help. Now that she had fallen in battle, she was starting to agree.

She pulls herself up from the ground. Her wounds healed as much as possible. Izuru is begging her to lie back down, but his pleas fall on deaf ears as she stands on shaky legs. Rangiku moves forward her eyes never leaving the scene before her. Gin grins as he extends his zanpakuto ready to impale Ichigo.

"Stop…" she whispers; she stumbles as she begins to run forward. "Stop…STOP!" she shouts as Gin turns her way, his eyes narrowed, his grin firmly in place.

"Ran-chan…you're interrupting our fight…that isn't very nice…" Gin says as he lets his arm fall to the side.

"Gin…please…this isn't-this isn't you…" Rangiku says as she holds her abdomen, the pain making her stammer. "Please tell me this is all Aizen's fault! That-that he has brainwashed you or-or something! I know you don't want this!"

Gin's continues grinning, "Ran-chan…"

"Please! Please Gin!" she cries as she moves forward.

Gin walks forward his attention now focused on Rangiku. She stops her hands resting on her pelvis. He grins deeply, "It's all Aizen's fault?"

"Gin," she says as tears begin to fall.

"I'm brainwashed?" Gin continues as he continues forward till he's right in front of her. "Ran-chan this _is_ what I want!" he holds his blade up. "You shouldn't have interrupted Ran-chan…"

She closes her eyes as she speaks, "Gin…you don't have to always leave…" her pale eyes open and she stares at him softly. "You don't always have to fight…" She smiles sadly. "Things have changed but it can be you and me again…" She doesn't cry, there are no tears for him. "Be with me…be the Gin I know you are…"

"Ran-chan I don't think you understand…this is who I am now…I have to leave, I have to fight…there is no you and me now…" Gin says as he lifts his sword.

Now is not the time she thinks as she looks up at the grinning face in front of her, but if she has no other chance after this moment she knows she will regret it. "Gin…I'm pregnant…" she whispers but her voice firm.

Gin's eyes open, dark blue irises take in her bleeding form. "What?" There is no smile on his face.

"I'm with _child_…" she continues. "I'm four months along and…it's yours…"

His zanpakuto falls to the ground with a clatter as he falls to his knees. Tears fall down his face, his hands shake as he reaches out pulling her hips to him. He rests his head against the torn and bloodied fabric of her abdomen. Her hands rest on his head and shoulders, her fingers run through his soft silver locks. He cries into her, "I-I'm sorry Rangiku…I'm so sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop…and now you…and I'm…it's too late…"

"Gin…" she sighs as she lifts his face, a small smile forming on her face.

"I tried…I tried at Soul Society to do something…" he continues. She remembers his final words. _"It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer. Farewell Rangiku. Sorry."_

"It's not too late Gin…" she whispers. "You can still come back to me…"

"I wish that was true…"

_April came and brought with it blossoms. Byakuya had opened up the Kuchiki gardens for viewing. Sakura blossoms hung heavy on dark wood branches. The pale pink petals fell about the ground and the air hung with a heavy scent. The sun shone bright while a light breeze blew through the trees, making the fallen petals dance about. It was truly a stunning sight._

_Rangiku walked slowly down the path, her yukata, a traditional indigo with a simple hexagonal pattern, and her obi, a pale orange with delicate silk brocade. Her zori slap slightly against her soles breaking the silence of the garden. Her hair is for once is up held by a long pin while shorter strands frame her face. Ahead of her walked a small boy. _

_His name was Kin. He was a tall two year-old. He had thick golden curls that hung in his eyes at times and eyes the clearest blue. He grinned all the time. It was clear that the boy would be a charmer when he was older with angelic looks, boyish grin, and sweet demeanor. Now at two, he had most of Soul Society's females wrapped around his little finger. _

_It was hard to believe that it had been two years since his birth and Rangiku still remembered it quite vividly. He was small, born a month earlier on March 14, White Day. Rangiku laughed saying that he was her White Day present. Although he was small, he was strong. Tiny golden curls covered his rounded head and his eyes were baby blue. He smiled and Rangiku thought her heart had stopped at seeing the familiar grin that Gin often wore._

"_Kaa-san!" cried Kin as he spun around to look back at his mother. He had long since dirtied the knees of his hakama and his kimono sleeves had been pushed up past his elbows. He ran to her and crashed into her legs grinning up at her as he held out a dandelion. "For you!"_

_She wondered to herself how her son had managed to find the weed in Byakuya's immaculately maintain garden but took it smiling happily. "Thank you Kin…I love it…"_

_Kin grinned happily as he reached for her hand and they continued their walk through the garden. His eyes would wander at times, wishing to run and play through the flowering groves but he continued through the gardens. Soon they were out of the garden and Rangiku looked down at her son. "Are you hungry?" _

_He nodded eagerly as she led the way to the Rukongai. Kin liked to watch people walk the streets and would often wander off on his own if Rangiku didn't keep a close eye on him. She took him to their favorite vender and asked for two skewers of yakitori. They walked the streets munching on their chicken before heading to find a wagashi. Rangiku spotted a stand selling dried persimmons and grinned eagerly as she held out the hoshigaki for her son._

"_What?" he asked as he eyed the wrinkled orange fruit._

"_A persimmon…you'll like it I promise…" she said as she paid the vendor and they began their walk back to Soul Society. She bit into the chewy flesh of the persimmon and smiled at the sweetness of the fruit. Rangiku looked down to see Kin chewing on the fruit thoughtfully before taking another bite. "See?"_

"_Good…" Kin said with a firm nod as he takes another bite. As they enter the Seireitei, Rangiku carried Kin in her arms. His head laid against her shoulder while his tiny arms wrapped around her neck. She smiled at him as she continued walking. Kin opened his eyes to look at his mother blearily. "Kaa-san?"_

"_I just want to visit Tou-san before we head home," Rangiku said as she rubbed the little boy's back. "Don't you want to tell Tou-san about your day?"_

_Kin nodded and they walked on. Rangiku thought that perhaps the last years have all been a fantastic dream. One of which she never expected. Things had changed. _

**BLEH! Alright so I wanted to leave it ambiguous as to the ending but well if the point got across great, if not whatever. I am absolute in love with Kin! I think I may have to do some stories with just him! But first I need readers to review this to know whether or not I have lost my touch! So if you appreciate, review! If you hate, review! I always appreciate helpful suggestions!**


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